Monday, April 19, 2010

We Need Each Other

A successful man usually has many friends. They are always around him. They love to identify with him. They shower him with encomiums and often present themselves as dependable allies.

No wonder a lot of people do all sorts of things to stay on top. Lies, a fake life, embezzlement of public funds, going contrary to set principles, making the other person look bad through gossips, mutiny and backbiting even among clerics.

You can watch a man reassure you that he would repay a loan at a certain time and when the time comes, he cooks up stories or just smiles at you as if nothing is wrong or frowns at you muttering, "Common, I thought it was a gift." It could lead to an endless promise of repayment that would never materialize.

Should that make us turn into recluses? No! People will always be people. Just as people may not seem dependable and trustworthy, they could be the greatest assets we have. So, give every man the benefit of doubt. See them as one of the best things that have come around you. Look them lovingly. But never cease to realize that your own house(self) must be in order. You are a force and there is a fire that burns within you, it may surely need others to fuel it but it is you that carries the conflagration.

Ask Barack Obama if people matter in his life or go ahead and make a case with the Dalai Lama, by saying that people should be mistrusted because of the misdeeds of a few and you will find out that people do count. Mother Theresa would not have been so adored if she did not have people around her to show love. Mecca would not be Mecca-the largest gathering of human beings if there were no people.

Just watch a successful man witness a major setback or pass through moments of trial and watch them('friends') gradually disappear into the thin air. People would end up unreliable at many times. They may not appreciate the love you show them (just as you may eventually realize that you did not give someone back the love he showered on you at a certain point in your life). Many would cease to reach out to you at the moments you are down forgetting the good times and making you look like you do not matter. But there are many reasons why we still need people and still give them a measure of trust.

No man is an island. None of us is as strong as all of us. Even when we may not need people to bring our dreams to pass, we still need them to appreciate the fact that these dreams did come to pass. Life's cycles needs people, in food chains, the pursuit to reduce global warming, going green as well as to ensure global peace.We need each other.

What matters most then? Walk tall and confident. Shake hands firmly. Do not let a friend or people that failed you when you needed them most, make you loose your joy. There is only one you in this world. There is only one life to live on earth. Do not let your fire quench. Let the star in you blossom.

As you keep going on in the game of life, do not forget that you need someone, people, even antagonists and those who make you look bad- to enable you bring out your best as you ascend to the top of your game.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

No More ‘Anyhow’ and ‘Whatever’

He only got to know he was running away from his problems when he realized that almost everything was messy around him. His finances were wrecked. His only means of income was in shambles. His relationships were threatened. He stood in a quite alley wondering how things have become so bad.
And in his brains, re-echoed his favourite word, “anyhow!” He had a second favourite expression, “Whatever!” Now he re-examined how these words have so much become part of him and affected his life.

Only three days earlier, on the eve of his 28th birthday, he was asked by several friends about his plans for celebrations. His reply to them was, “Anyhow, we’ll just get together sometime, somewhere.”

“About what time, Roger?” they asked.

“ gonna give you guys a call.”

The birthday get together did take place. Moments before his friends figured out a venue after he had told one of them he was ready to be with them, he realized he needed more money for drinks. He was glad when he remembered he had been given some money to keep by his cousin. That money bailed him out on his birthday.

After the fun moments with his friends, when it dawned on him that he would have to replace the money, he consoled himself by saying “anyhow.” He was able to replace the money, but he had to borrow from someone else to do so.

As Roger rested on the alley, he realized that he never had a plan for any particular thing or situation and he did not have any principles. He just faced a few situations as they came and shelved many other important issues. He had woken earlier that day realizing that if only he took time to think about the things that concerned him and plan, putting his do’s and don’ts in view; he would have been better off.

This is a thought for food for us. Do we always put off things that lie clearly at hand for those things that matter less? Do we just do things to be approved by others instead of to fall in line with our priorities? Do we run away from our problems instead of facing them?

The word ‘whatever’ is a common expression; it could be likened to a slang. But when we allow it creep into the most important issues in our lives, one day we will look at them and they would not be what they ought to be. They would stare us back in the face- messy, empty, and unattractive- just like ‘whatever!’

Do not say ‘anyhow’ when it is meant to be somehow or it will surely end up anyhow.

Life is a game just like your pursuits. Imagine where a game is played without tactics...!