Happiness is a responsibility

Happiness is not just a feeing, it is a choice we have to make for our own good and the good of others. It is a responsibility.

Whenever you come accross someone that hurt you in the past or you never liked your mood changes. It means that person can take away your happiness and can go as far as spoiling your day. You are only happy when you meet a certain person or find yourself in a particular place. Thus, that person or place is responsible for your happiness.

You should be responsible for your happiness and it comes from within. Make up your mind to be happy. Life is easier that way. Yes! some things can make us angry or aggitated but the person who has adopted a happy lifestyle handles such situations better.

As a follow up to my artice 'Choose to be Happy.' I have decided to bring to you these wise words on happiness from the master, Jim Rohn;

According to Jim Rohn:
No one else "makes us angry." We make ourselves angry when we surrender control of our attitude. What someone else may have done is irrelevant. We choose, not they. They merely put our attitude to a test. If we select a volatile attitude by becoming hostile,angry, jealous or suspicious, then we have failed the test. If we condemn ourselves by believing that we are unworthy, then again, we have failed the test.

If we care at all about ourselves, then we must accept full responsibility for our own feelings. We must learn to guard against those feelings that have the capacity to lead our attitude down the wrong path and to strengthen those feelings that can lead us confidently into a better future

Below are steps you can take to live a happy lifestyle by Brian Tracy;

Action Exercises

Here are three steps you can take immediately to put these ideas into action.

First, accept that you deserve all the joy and happiness you can possibly achieve through your own efforts.

Second, make your own happiness the chief organizing principle of your life and judge everything against that standard. Follow your inner guiding light.

Third, be willing to work hard and pay the price for the satisfaction and rewards you desire. Always go the extra mile and your success will be assured.

Picture, courtesy: Google Images

Choose to be Happy

There are no public bars and night clubs in Riyadh but there is traquility; and a lifestyle that enables one to save and build his/her finances. Katsina lacks a cinema, shopping mall and a beach but it is devoid of the heartbreaking traffic congestion of Lagos.

It is pretty cold in winter but the snow gives us one of the most beautiful sights of the year. The air is dry and dusty in harmattan but our untarred roads are dry and free from mud, water pools and debris deposited by flood.

You are in a new place and you miss your friends badly. It is an opportunity to look inward. Moments that we find ourselves alone could be channelled to moments of self discovery.

"A message by one of the speakers in a conference I attended several years ago opened my eyes on happiness. We were told that happiness comes from within. When we make up our minds to be happy, we would find out that we still smile in the face of dissappointments and losses. Becuase, we look at the funny side of life." Fanny,29 and single said.

Whenever she finds herself drifting towards anger or despair; she cautions herself, "I choose to be happy. This too shall pass. There are other reasons to smile." And she occupies her time either singing, listening to music or just thinking 'feel good'thoughts.

She remembers her moments of accomplishments, the periods she was of great value to others and those who have shown her love. Other times she just looks out of the window- to the skies, admiring its beauty; the busy street, admiring how every passerby is unique. She seeks out for things that would make her feel good instead of worrying. Today, Fanny is in better control of what she allows to get into her mind.

It is common to hear people express how they like someone becuase of their cheerful demeanour. "Obeidullah is jolly-good fellow. I love him. He is always happy." A janitor said while refering to his colleague. People like Obeidullah easily get other people's attention and assistance.

Happiness enables us love our jobs and be productive. It is good for our health. It draws people to us. It enables us see opportunities in the midst of dissapointments. An angry man's heart is dark and focused on his woe and it blinds him from seeing a flicker of light which could give him hope.

Walter S. Landor, said,"We are no longer happy as soon as we wish to be happier."

While worry adds nothing good to us, happiness would enable us to focus better on our game and get on top of it.

Make a decision to be happy today!

Picture, courtesy: Obiora Sylva-Ezemoka

Show me your friend!

My friends noticed the big difference in me when I started walking with a spring in my footsteps.
I talked with a new air of confidence. I stopped whining and was quick to point out the possibilities and opportunities that sorrounded us in an environment that was largely restricted and anti social.

And when they told me "You dey enjoy o!" I would laugh and concur with them. I had no other option but to start enjoying my environ. I wanted to stay healthy, succeed in life and quit the blame game. That I found myself in an environment very different from my expectations did not mean I should wallow in the captivity of negativity.

My orientation changed. I found another friend that added a new value to me. There was a big difference between my old friends and my new friend. I realised that I was a local champion and it is pathetic to be the most celebrated, in the midst of people with mediocre mindsets.

So many question crossed my mind. Have I grown in any way since I got to know these friends? Have I contributed positively to their lives? How come they all find it hard to make sacrifices? Can I be the star I want to be and get on top of my game if I continue mingling with these folks? What do we spend our time mostly on? It went on and on and suddenly some answers started coming.

I have grown in complaining and finding faults. I find it hard to do something really nice to them because it would make me look different and they would scorn me; except for the occassional drinks we buy each other. We have developed an attitude of 'God for all, every man for himself,' ever since we started going out. Yes! we help each other at times but many times we just say to each other 0-Y-O, which meant, 'You are on your own.'

We spent most of our time discussing other people. If any of us were absent, he would surely become the topic of our discussion. So, after having experienced this new friendship, I needed no one to tell that I was heading to nowhere significant in life with my old friends unless I could change them for good.

Old wine, they say tastes better but when it is (an old) friendship that adds no value to you, the long term effects could be most bitter! You can be the one to ignite the flame of value in your friendships. Resolve today, to add value to your friends.Think of something nice to do to them and that is the way it would come back to you. If you want to have a friend, be a friend!

Research shows that the people you associate with, would influence you in many ways over time. Before you know it, you may start thinking, talking and acting like them. When a relationship is totally sapping,limiting and only brings your mind to woes, then it is not the best for you. After you have made efforts and nothing positive is happening, move on and consider it a learning experience.

You are smart and intelligent and deserve the best. Show me your friend and I will show you who you are. Get on top of your game and do not let your acquintances, associations and friendships dimnish your vision-they should rather be your assets.
Picture, courtesy: Angela Uko

Be a Good Internet Time Manager !

The internet has largely become part of us becuase of its many benefits. Today, it is the most effective means of communication, seeking information, transacting business as well as entertainment-at the least cost.

The internet has made things a lot easier as one could journey around the world by the mere click(s) of the mouse! People have met their spouses via the internet. Some others have been able to make very important business contacts through it. Information seekers are rarely dissappointed as it takes just a matter of time to get what you want.

Aside from its draw backs such us spamming, virus threats, theft of personal information, damaging information and pornography; the internet has become one of the greatest time wasters for people. You could find someone surfing the web for long hours without any significant purpose. Thus, a lot of people are increasingly being controlled by the internet instead of the other way round.

It is therefore of no surprise that social networking sites are often disabled in the internet connection of varoius work places to enable employees concentrate on their work. On several occassions we have caught ourselves surfing through our Facebook accounts in the course of work at a time we still had a lot to be done!

If you want to get on top of your game and stay on it, then you need to be a better manager of your time on the internet.

-Before you connect to the world wide web, take time to ask your self what you want to achieve.

-Make a note listing out what you intend to accomplish on the internet.

-Estimate the time it would take to accomplish each one of them. For example, apportion 20 minutes for checking and replying your emails.

-Regroup the items on your list, starting with the most important. In replying your mails also start with the most important ones except if you need to take out time to gather facts before you act on it.

-Once you have finished with a particular item on your list, move on to the next one.

-If you are seeking for a new information, make sure you understand what you are looking for, be specific in your search and stay focused in order to save time. It is possible to spend several hours seeking for information and end up achieving little. If your search is not fruitful you can postpone it to some time later.

-Do not keep gathering information and end up not acting on them. Once you are ready to start, take action. Too much information might lead to paralysis of analysis.

-Do not be distracted by pop-ups,chats, mails and clicks that you do not need to make when you are doing something important on the internet. For those who work at home(online),learn to balance your work time and free time. House chores, the television, the refrigirator and the bed could be the greates distractions.

-Entrust a specific amount of time for the internet daily and stick to it.


Picture, Courtesy: Kesmo Creations

Live Triumphantly Everyday Because Life is Short

Below is an inspirational piece by Bob Moorehead which my friend and former schoolmate, Faten Jiffry shared with me. It reminds us that in the midst of everyday's hustles and bustles, we should take time to enjoy the beautiful things of life, which are often the simplest. I have shared the SH Prayer too. Enjoy your reading!

-Live Triumphantly Everyday Because Life is Short-

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and
hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we
communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships.

These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

Remember, to spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person might not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

— Bob Moorehead

Live Each Day to the Fullest

Live each day to the fullest.
Get the most from each hour, each day,
and each age of your life.
Then you can look forward with confidence,
and back without regrets.

Be yourself... but be your best self.
Dare to be different and follow your own star.
Don't be afraid to be happy
...enjoy what is beautiful.
Love with all your heart and soul.
Believe that those you love, love you.

When you are faced with decision,
make that decision as wisely as possible,
then forget it.

The moment of absolute certainty never arrives.
And above all, remember that God helps those
who help themselves. Act as if everything depended on you
And pray as if everything depended on God.
~ SH Payer

PICTURE- Courtesy: Ugochukwu Egboluche

Would You Love to Recreate Yourself?

If you were given the powers to recreate yourself, what change(s) would you make?

I have asked a lot of people this question and many have come up with answers such as: "I would have chosen a different career," "I would make sure I had different parents," "I would have disobeyed my parents who suggested I become a lawyer and do what I had always wanted," "I would not have married that monster in my house," "I would have chosen to be an American," The answers are endless.And if some of us had the power to recreate, many would change the shape of their noses, the colour of their eyes, some would choose to be taller, bigger... Name it!

Now, with the presence of plastic surgery techniques and other cosmetic procedures, many have gone ahead to make some of their body features more or less prominent in order to chose their taste. But the question is; does it change who you are inside?

Difficult, this argument may seem but the truth is that it is mainly our mindsets that determine how we react to how others perceive us and situations around us. Many people have gone ahead to artificialy enhance their natural looks to gain acceptance but many researches have shown that the old 'devils' still run in their minds.

A colleague recounted how misserable she felt whenever she carried a tag on her mind about how skinny she was and how peolple would always consider her hungry looking and 'lekpa'(a slang that describes very slim people in Nigeria). She felt everyone saw her that way. She created a wall around her self and was overtly self-conscious. She became so suspicious of what everyone was thinking when they came her way. But many at times she was wrong.

She found this out when she saw another fellow she knew she looked better than, carrying herself with confidence. The fellow was affable, smiled often, was successful in what she was doing and mixed up well with others.Then she knew that many people did not see the fellow the way she had thought.

Lezie, outrightly knew that she was not getting younger and life needed to be enjoyed. She looked her self in the mirror and took a life changing decision. What did she see? A pretty, successful, loving ambitious lady who would make a great wife. She made a commitment to look simple but her best. And when she walked she smiled. She made friends. She learned how to be assertive. Even when people tried to ridicule her or joke about her skinny looks, she took it in good light; for she knew deep inside her was a treasure. A gift that would affect the life of others. A star, shining bright.

Today, years after, Lezie is doing well in her career. She is married to a man she loves, who got enthralled by her easy going and positive outlook. When you encounter this lady; her enthusiasm is infectious. You would not even remember if she is skinny or not (Yes, she is looking as fresh as ever-perharps, marrying a loving husband does a lot of magic to women!)

What about you? Do you still lock yourself up in your closet still wishing that your circumstances or looks were different? Do you still live in the past denying the joy and benefits of the present? Do not let your game depreciate. Make a commitment to be proud of who you are because there is a star in you. You have learned from your failures. Your futur will be brighter. Your present is here to be enjoyed. You are good looking and even if anyone wants to make you look bad, shake it off! Stay on the high road- Be proud to be who you are! The achiever, the lovable one, ... that is who you are and things will get even better.

We Need Each Other

A successful man usually has many friends. They are always around him. They love to identify with him. They shower him with encomiums and often present themselves as dependable allies.

No wonder a lot of people do all sorts of things to stay on top. Lies, a fake life, embezzlement of public funds, going contrary to set principles, making the other person look bad through gossips, mutiny and backbiting even among clerics.

You can watch a man reassure you that he would repay a loan at a certain time and when the time comes, he cooks up stories or just smiles at you as if nothing is wrong or frowns at you muttering, "Common, I thought it was a gift." It could lead to an endless promise of repayment that would never materialize.

Should that make us turn into recluses? No! People will always be people. Just as people may not seem dependable and trustworthy, they could be the greatest assets we have. So, give every man the benefit of doubt. See them as one of the best things that have come around you. Look them lovingly. But never cease to realize that your own house(self) must be in order. You are a force and there is a fire that burns within you, it may surely need others to fuel it but it is you that carries the conflagration.

Ask Barack Obama if people matter in his life or go ahead and make a case with the Dalai Lama, by saying that people should be mistrusted because of the misdeeds of a few and you will find out that people do count. Mother Theresa would not have been so adored if she did not have people around her to show love. Mecca would not be Mecca-the largest gathering of human beings if there were no people.

Just watch a successful man witness a major setback or pass through moments of trial and watch them('friends') gradually disappear into the thin air. People would end up unreliable at many times. They may not appreciate the love you show them (just as you may eventually realize that you did not give someone back the love he showered on you at a certain point in your life). Many would cease to reach out to you at the moments you are down forgetting the good times and making you look like you do not matter. But there are many reasons why we still need people and still give them a measure of trust.

No man is an island. None of us is as strong as all of us. Even when we may not need people to bring our dreams to pass, we still need them to appreciate the fact that these dreams did come to pass. Life's cycles needs people, in food chains, the pursuit to reduce global warming, going green as well as to ensure global peace.We need each other.

What matters most then? Walk tall and confident. Shake hands firmly. Do not let a friend or people that failed you when you needed them most, make you loose your joy. There is only one you in this world. There is only one life to live on earth. Do not let your fire quench. Let the star in you blossom.

As you keep going on in the game of life, do not forget that you need someone, people, even antagonists and those who make you look bad- to enable you bring out your best as you ascend to the top of your game.

No More ‘Anyhow’ and ‘Whatever’

He only got to know he was running away from his problems when he realized that almost everything was messy around him. His finances were wrecked. His only means of income was in shambles. His relationships were threatened. He stood in a quite alley wondering how things have become so bad.
And in his brains, re-echoed his favourite word, “anyhow!” He had a second favourite expression, “Whatever!” Now he re-examined how these words have so much become part of him and affected his life.

Only three days earlier, on the eve of his 28th birthday, he was asked by several friends about his plans for celebrations. His reply to them was, “Anyhow, we’ll just get together sometime, somewhere.”

“About what time, Roger?” they asked.

“Whatever...am gonna give you guys a call.”

The birthday get together did take place. Moments before his friends figured out a venue after he had told one of them he was ready to be with them, he realized he needed more money for drinks. He was glad when he remembered he had been given some money to keep by his cousin. That money bailed him out on his birthday.

After the fun moments with his friends, when it dawned on him that he would have to replace the money, he consoled himself by saying “anyhow.” He was able to replace the money, but he had to borrow from someone else to do so.

As Roger rested on the alley, he realized that he never had a plan for any particular thing or situation and he did not have any principles. He just faced a few situations as they came and shelved many other important issues. He had woken earlier that day realizing that if only he took time to think about the things that concerned him and plan, putting his do’s and don’ts in view; he would have been better off.

This is a thought for food for us. Do we always put off things that lie clearly at hand for those things that matter less? Do we just do things to be approved by others instead of to fall in line with our priorities? Do we run away from our problems instead of facing them?

The word ‘whatever’ is a common expression; it could be likened to a slang. But when we allow it creep into the most important issues in our lives, one day we will look at them and they would not be what they ought to be. They would stare us back in the face- messy, empty, and unattractive- just like ‘whatever!’

Do not say ‘anyhow’ when it is meant to be somehow or it will surely end up anyhow.

Life is a game just like your pursuits. Imagine where a game is played without tactics...!

The Unseen Powers.

We have been inundated with various messages coming from various religious groups about a super natural being.Think about it; did we just bump into this world? Could it be that our existence was just an accident?

Well, coming into this world in the first place was beyond our making. Out of several million sperms in the semen that led to your birth, it was only one sperm that fertilized(united with)the ovum. The union grew in leaps and bounds and after 9 months, it was you. It could have been another sperm instead of the one that brought about you. Well, here you are reading this, you absolutely had no hand in the process!

Many great scientists described that there were in (what looked like) a trance when the ideas that brought about their scientific breakthrough came to them.Some others were sleeping and they dreamt about it. To others it just came unexpectedly in the course of their work while others got theirs from daily observations.These men had been putting efforts and were expectant of good results.

There is power in our words, there is power in our thoughts, there is power in liberty and like wise there is power in faith.Then there is a power above every other power. It is that ultimate power that controls every other power.

We have virtues and we have vices. The powers beyond the physical govern them all. However, as we seek to change the world for good-the power that will make us inspire and be role models to many; the power that will enable us to give a helping hand to our fellow mankind; the power that will enable get to pinnacle of our careers; the power that syncs with the good is that which we seek.

We can tap into it. We can get beyond the physical and connect to that power. When we shut ourselves from all around us and seek for the way-considering your pursuit. You will receive answers. That power will add to all the efforts you make and take you to the top of your game.

As for me, I get on my knees and pray to Christ my saviour. He knows my weaknesses. He knows my fears, He knows my capabilities.

Sunset painting by Erendira Figueroa

If You Fall, Rise Up

Little Amarachi staggered and fell down hitting her bum on the ground as she made efforts to run around the play ground like other infants. She was just 10 months old. Her mother was agitated thinking that she would cry. But Amarachi's attention was focused on the balloons that the other kids were playing with. She supported her self and tried to stand up again before Tyrone, 2 came to give her a helping hand. As soon as she stood up, she smiled, then suddenly turned to where we were, obviously attracted by our cheers. She flashed another smile and put her two palms together above her head. She clapped them. In the next instant she ran off to join the other kids. Her padded pants which gave her a bulging backside and her two short legs moved in short paces as if one foot did not touch the ground before the other moved. It was a spectacle to watch her tender legs. Amarachi fell down again. Moments later she was up. Like other kids, she never gave up.

In Glasgow, Paris, Manila, Enugu, Pretoria, Riyadh, Melbourne, Mexico and all over the world, infants display a remarkable resilience. Watch them take their first steps and you will understand that they are not afraid of falling. After they fall, they rise. Yes, they may cry, they may get scared but it never stops them from trying again when opportunity calls.

How beaten and battered are most of us by life's challenges that we run away from taking another try when we fall. There is a lesson for us today. When next you feel like giving up on your dreams after a setback, remember you were once a baby or go look for an infant with tender legs. Watch them try to walk, watch them succeed. Observe them fall and see them never give up on their quest even after they may have cried.

Nature has given us emotions that could make us cry, smile, silent or uptight. The same nature ensured that we all, were once babies-tender and prone to cry, cheerful and ready to smile, resilient and never willing to give up.

As you play your game of life; like a baby, use your emotions for your own good and learn to rise up after you fall.

AFTERS; Yours Sincerely adds a year on 1st of February. I thank God for another birthday. Many thanks for being out there.
Umuntu- A person
Ngumuntu-Is a Person
Ngabantum-Because of other people.
South African Proverb.

Pictures, courtesy: Google Images and Yeswecanholdbabies.wordpress.com

Trust God to Lead the Way

We certainly feel on top of our games when we make plans, work on them and see them come to pass. Sometimes it takes longer than we expect. Other times it just takes another course needing inputs we never expected. On some occasions it does not just work. And when such plans are big plans, we feel like big failures when they fail.

Well, in every failure there is another success hanging around the corner. This is a fact considering the stories that many successful people have told. It is most difficult to see the bright side of life at challenging moments like that but we could get it right with practice. When we concentrate on what we know (That in every failure there is another success lurking around the corner; that 'this too shall pass'; that when there is a will there is a way; that when there is life there is hope) instead of dwelling on what we feel(that we have bungled it up and so we are failures; that we are wrecks; that life has fallen apart; that opportunity comes but once)-it will drive us to commit our time and minds on efforts that put us on a path of success.

God who made us knows it all and this is a great assurance. When things are moving right, we ought to give him thanks. When things are not moving our way, we still have to thank Him asking him to direct us. These words by Overton summarizes it.

My cherished plans may go astray,
My hopes may fade away;
But still trust my Lord to lead.
For He doth know the way.

God knows the game better than any of us.

What Inspires You?

First and foremost, I humbly express my appreciation for your kind words. Such feedback inspires me. This would take us to the issue for the moment.

People who have made it to the top usually strive time after time. They do not allow setbacks shut down their dreams; neither do they allow people talk them out of their pursuits. They do not just stop and wallow on past accomplishments. They see each day as a gift and an opportunity to step up their games.

Just like we take our baths each day to refresh, we also need a dose of inspiration. So, how does yours come to you?

Please share it. This is an opportunity for us to learn from ourselves.

In the near future, we would talk more on this....

Hold Your Cool

It is certain that there are times we find ourselves in the midst of strong disagreements, verbal attacks or other kinds of conflicts. Well, the feeling of 'I have given him a piece of my mind' does not work all the time especially if a debate gets so heated up.

Anger generated from such verbal exchanges could linger on affecting our psyche, thinking and work. Therefore constantly indulging in quarrels, fights and similar conflicts, where things just get out of hand could hold us from getting on top of our games.

Sometimes it may seem beyond our control where the other fellow just refuses to understand.

I came across these piece by David J. Schwartz, he related his experience where he talked about developing an understanding attitude;

A few months ago at the reservation desk of a Memphis hotel, I saw an excellent demonstration of the right way to handle folks like this.

It was shortly after 5PM and the hotel was busy registering new guests. The fellow ahead of me gave his name to the clerk in a commanding way. The clerk said, "Yes Sir, Mr R.., we have a fine single for you."
'"Single?" shouted the fellow. "I ordered a double."
The clerk said very politely, "Let me check, sir."

He pulled the guest's reservation from the file and said, "I am sorry, sir. Your telegram specified a single. I'd be happy to put you in a double room, sir, if we had any available. But we simply do not."

Then the irate customer said, "I don't care what the h*** that piece of paper says, I want a double."

Then he started in with that "do-you-know-who-I-am" bit, followed with ''I'll have you fired. You'll see, I'll have you fired.''

As best he could, under the verbal tornado, the young clerk injected, "Sir, we're terribly sorry, but we acted on your instructions. "

Finally the customer, really furious now, said, "I wouldn't stay in the best suite in this ********hotel now that I know how badly managed it is," and stormed out.

I stepped up to the desk, thinking the clerk who had taken one of the worse public tongue lashings I'd seen in some time, would be upset. Instead he greeted me with one of the finest "Good evening, sirs" I'd ever heard. As he went through the routine of processing my room, I said to him, "I certainly admire the way you handled yourself just a moment ago. You have tremendous temper control"

"Well, sir," he said, "I really can't get mad at a fellow like that. You see, he really isn't mad at me. I was just the scapegoat. The poor fellow may be in bad trouble with his wife, or his business may be off, or maybe he feels inferior and this was his golden chance to feel like a wheel. I'm just the guy who gave him a chance to get something out of his system."

The clerk added, "Underneath he's probably a very nice guy. Most guys are "

Remember those two short sentences next time someone declares war on you. Hold your fire. The way to win in situations like this is to let the other fellow blow his stack, and then forget it.

An interesting story. 'Not an easy thing to do,' you may say but the fact that watching people(two) make a spectacle of themselves in shouts puts them in a bad light; even the one considered to be understanding.

Hold your cool. It will help you think better and even farther. Your game deserves to get to the next level.

Talk Yourself Up

How do you enjoy hanging out with a friend of yours who always complains? Some people spend all their time in self pity thinking about past disappointments and regretting the mistakes they made. Obviously, complainers are always boring. Complaining has such a power that could just condition one to always be on the level of regrets, pity parties, and have a mindset of a litany of woes.

Omalara, was so disturbed after failing a second time to pass the relevant subjects in the West African Examination Council''s Senior School Certificate Examinations. She had always wanted to proceed to a higher institution. Her failure depressed her and she could not even consider trying out the examinations again. She locked herself up in her room. She felt so lowly and downcast and lacked the courage to face her relatives and friends. To her, she was a failure.

Omolara's parents and friends came advising her. Some scolded her, some prayed for her. She was touched by their care (or hostility as the case may be). She knew that being engrossed in her self was not the way out.

She told me her situation only changed after her big cousin visited. Bode left her with an audio cassette of R. Kelly's tracks and told her to listen to World's Greatest over and over again. She found a new hope and started believing herself when she kept hearing the lyrics:

I am a mountain

I am a tall treeooooh,

I am a swift wind,

Sweepin' the countryI am a river,

Down in the valleyooooh,

I am a vision

And I can see clearly

If anybody asks you who I am

Just stand up tall

Look 'em in the face and say

Chorus

I'm that star up in the sky

I'm that mountain peak up high

Hey I made it, mmmmmm

I'm the world's greatest

And I'm that little bit of hope

When my back's against the ropes

I can feel it, mmmmmm

I'm the world's greatest(the worlds greatest, worlds greatest , for ever )

I am a giantI am an eagleooh,

I am a lion

Down in the jungle

I am a marchin' band

I am the peopleooh,

I am a helping hand

I am a hero

If anybody asks you who I am

Just stand up tall

Look 'em in the face and say

Chorus

In the ring of life i'll rain love (i will rain)

and the world will notice a king (oooohhhhh yahhhhh)

when there is darkness i'll shine a light (shine a light)

and views of success reflect in me

As she kept hearing these words, she kept telling herself that she was a star, a hero and capable of reaching her dreams. Like an eagle she flew above the clouds of self doubt, self pity and discouragement. With this new mindset; she gave her very best and succeeded tremendously in her next examinations.

Omolara learned to talk herself up and it led her to success. When we encourage ourselves instead of complaining we take ourselves to a higher level. Just as complainers are boring, so are enthusiastic and optimistic people exciting and fun to be with. Talking yourself up will also inspires others. It is refreshing to the body. It gives you a good sales value!

Consider these words: You need to encourage yourself. You need to pump yourself up. You need to be your own cheerleader. Why? Because you can’t wait and hope that someone else will come along and cheer you up… make you feel better… tell you that you’ll do better next time. You have to rely on yourself. You have to have faith in yourself and... your ability to figure out what works and what doesn’t. You have to have the inner belief that everything you’re doing, you’re doing for a positive outcome in the future. You have to encourage yourself with future successes.-JIM ROHN

Believe it; Say it- confess it; Do it! Like a cycle, it will change your life for good and serve as a compass that will take you and keep you at the top of your game.

It's 2010 and we surely need a wining attitude-talk yourself up!

2010 can be your Big year..Happy New Year!

It is another new year. Here comes 2010.May this new year be one that will favour us all.

Set your dreams high. Think Big. Believe Big. Give Big. Pray Big.

It is time to set/ work on the goals you have set for 2010.

You are unique and there is a giant within you. The biggest obstacle you might have is you.

Let us keep doing those things that will take us and keep us on top of our games.

Reflect on these words from Dennis Waitley:"The mind is the most magnificent bio-computer ever created. But remember, like a computer, it only responds to specific instructions, not to vague ideas. So come alive in 2010!

Get laser-focused on goals that are just out of reach, but not out of sight.Get specific and achieve great things in 2010!"