Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Show me your friend!

My friends noticed the big difference in me when I started walking with a spring in my footsteps.
I talked with a new air of confidence. I stopped whining and was quick to point out the possibilities and opportunities that sorrounded us in an environment that was largely restricted and anti social.

And when they told me "You dey enjoy o!" I would laugh and concur with them. I had no other option but to start enjoying my environ. I wanted to stay healthy, succeed in life and quit the blame game. That I found myself in an environment very different from my expectations did not mean I should wallow in the captivity of negativity.

My orientation changed. I found another friend that added a new value to me. There was a big difference between my old friends and my new friend. I realised that I was a local champion and it is pathetic to be the most celebrated, in the midst of people with mediocre mindsets.

So many question crossed my mind. Have I grown in any way since I got to know these friends? Have I contributed positively to their lives? How come they all find it hard to make sacrifices? Can I be the star I want to be and get on top of my game if I continue mingling with these folks? What do we spend our time mostly on? It went on and on and suddenly some answers started coming.

I have grown in complaining and finding faults. I find it hard to do something really nice to them because it would make me look different and they would scorn me; except for the occassional drinks we buy each other. We have developed an attitude of 'God for all, every man for himself,' ever since we started going out. Yes! we help each other at times but many times we just say to each other 0-Y-O, which meant, 'You are on your own.'

We spent most of our time discussing other people. If any of us were absent, he would surely become the topic of our discussion. So, after having experienced this new friendship, I needed no one to tell that I was heading to nowhere significant in life with my old friends unless I could change them for good.

Old wine, they say tastes better but when it is (an old) friendship that adds no value to you, the long term effects could be most bitter! You can be the one to ignite the flame of value in your friendships. Resolve today, to add value to your friends.Think of something nice to do to them and that is the way it would come back to you. If you want to have a friend, be a friend!

Research shows that the people you associate with, would influence you in many ways over time. Before you know it, you may start thinking, talking and acting like them. When a relationship is totally sapping,limiting and only brings your mind to woes, then it is not the best for you. After you have made efforts and nothing positive is happening, move on and consider it a learning experience.

You are smart and intelligent and deserve the best. Show me your friend and I will show you who you are. Get on top of your game and do not let your acquintances, associations and friendships dimnish your vision-they should rather be your assets.
Picture, courtesy: Angela Uko